How the Last Episode of Lost Should Have Ended: 1 point 0
by WhyTK
Summary: The title says it all.
1. Chapter 1

**"How the Last Episode of** ** _Lost_** **Should Have Ended: 1 Point 0"**

 **This is a parody crossover of** ** _Lost_** **and** ** _Gilligan's Island_** **and a third show that shall remain nameless for the moment.**

 **I do not own** ** _Lost_** **or** ** _Gilligan's Island_** **or the third show or any of their respective characters, institutions, or entities.**

Juliet goes into labor. The Professor delivers the baby. Ginger and MaryAnn assist.

The Professor proudly announces, "IT is perfect! IT is perfect!"

Ginger and MaryAnn cry out with delight, "Yes! Yes! IT is perfect is perfect! IT is perfect!"

Juliet, looking worried, asks, "What do you mean IT?"

The Professor holds the baby up where Juliet can see IT.

Juliet screams.

Then the baby speaks!

Juliet screams and screams again. The picture freezes on Juliet's screaming face and the words "The Beginning" appear.

Juliet screams when she sees the baby because she sees the single, red, horizontal scanning eye of a first generation Cylon. She screams when the baby speaks because it says, "BY YOUR COMMAND."

The mission of the Dharma Initiative was to build the first Cylons. Juliet's baby is a miniature prototype for all the Cylons to come.


	2. Chapter 2

**"How the Last Episode of** ** _Lost_** **Should Have Ended: 2 Point 0"**

The Professor wakes up in bed with Ginger and Mary Ann.

He says, "Wow! What a dream! Ginger ... Mary Ann ... No more lobster and coconut pizza just before bed!"

 **NOTES  
** 1\. I cite the following precedents: _Dallas_ and _Newhart_.

2\. I am just now _writing_ this one. But I thought of it years ago, when Russell Johnson was still alive to play the Professor if _Lost_ had done it my way.

3\. "1 point 0, 2 point 0," etc. in the chapter titles because ffn would not let me use "1.0" in the story title.


	3. Chapter 3

**"How the Last Episode of** ** _Lost_** **Should Have Ended: 3 Point 0"**

The Professor wakes up in bed with a red haired woman and a black haired woman.

He says, "Wow! What a dream!"

"Ginger ... ," he says as he nudges the redhead.  
"Mary Ann ... ," he says as he nudges the black haired woman.  
"No more lobster and coconut pizza just before bed."

The redhead rolls over and says, "Who's Ginger?"

The black haired woman rolls over and says, "Who's Mary Ann?"

The redhead is Dr. Kerry Weaver, not Ginger.  
The black haired woman is Lieutenant Sandy Lopez, not Mary Ann.

 **NOTE  
** _Lost  
_ \+ _Gilligan's Island  
_ \+ _ER  
_ \+ _The Twilight Zone_ episode "Person or Persons Unknown"  
This episode was first broadcast on March 23, 1962.  
It is usually included in the holiday marathons  
of _The Twilight Zone_ on the SyFy channel.

Laura Innes played Dr. Kerry Weaver in _ER_.  
Lisa Vidal played Lieutenant Sandy Lopez, Chicago Fire Department,  
Kerry's second Lesbian lover.

I do not own _Lost_ or _Gilligan's Island_ or _ER_ or _The Twilight Zone,_ or any of their respective characters, institutions, or entities.


	4. Chapter 4

**"How the Last Episode of** ** _Lost_** **Should Have Ended: 4 Point 0"**

Dr. Juliet Burke and Dr. Kerry Weaver stand hand in hand on the highest point on the island. They wear nothing but white lab coats, which are dirty, bloody, torn, and scorched. They look out over a wasteland of unanswered questions and unresolved storylines.

Juliet says, "I should have stayed a shrink, I should have stayed gay, I should have stayed in Chicago with you."

Kerry replies, "I'll help you clean up the mess if you introduce me to the hot Australian red head."

"It's a deal."

 **NOTE  
** Elizabeth Mitchell played Dr. Juliet Burke in _Lost_. She played Dr. Kim Legaspi in the 2000-2001 season of _ER_.  
Dr. Legaspi was the first Lesbian lover of Dr. Kerry Weaver.


	5. Chapter 5

**"How the Last Episode of** ** _Lost_** **Should Have Ended: 5 Point 0"**

There is a loud whistling sound over the beach. Jeffrey Jones, all grown up, falls from the sky and hits the sand with a thump.

As he stands up and brushes off the sand, Jeffrey says, "Twenty-eight years of this, and landings are still the worst part of the job."

Then he checks his Omni. The red light is flashing faster and brighter than ever before.

As he puts the Omni away, Jeffrey says, "I have a lot of fraking work to do here."

 **NOTE  
** Fionnula Flanagan played Eloise Hawking in _Lost_. She guest starred in the _Voyagers!_ episode "Voyagers of the Titanic."

Jeffrey Jones was one of the time travelers in the TV series _Voyagers!_ [1982-1983]. He was played by Meeno Peluce. The closing credits of each episode included a voiceover by Mr. Peluce. I hereby paraphrase that voiceover:  
"If you want to learn more about _Voyagers!_ , take a voyage to your computer. It's all in wikipedia!"


End file.
